Guilty Pleasures & Things That Make Me Want to Die

In short: the Kardashians.

Last night as I tried desperately to find any source of procrastination I could find to avoid writing a paper, I stumbled across perhaps one of the most abhorrent things I have ever laid eyes on.

The 2013 Kardashian Christmas Card.

Bad: This thing even exists?
Worse: People actually care that this exists?
Computer Thrown Out Window: THIS.

To spare you clicking on that link, here is the Christmas card I am referring to (warning: you can't un-see this):

Side note: I do not watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Mainly because I have never had cable in my life (read: true story). Although my childhood self may disagree (where my Disney Channel movies at, amiright?), I don't feel like I missed out on much by not having cable or satellite. In fact, I think it's because of my lack of exposure that I have such a low tolerance for shows that feature people like the Kardashians.

Please don't misinterpret what I'm saying. I'm only human. I love stupid reality TV drama. Lovelovelove it. Dance Moms, The Bachelorette, and Say Yes to the Dress are some of my favorite guilty pleasures. Key word here: guilty. Guilty because they provide absolutely no other function than to turn my brain into mush after a long day. And let's be honest, who doesn't love the reassurance of knowing that no matter how crappy your day may have been, there are still people broadcasting their crazy all over national television, so obviously your life can't be that bad.

However, the Kardashians (and other reality tv celebs like them) are their own breed of reality TV evil. This is why:

They are famous for no. Reason. At all. And I hate it.

But I hate it even more that there are thousands upon thousands of women idolizing them, wanting to look and be like them. This is particularly infuriating to me because the first thing I noticed in the "Christmas card" (whoever decided this could be called a Christmas card should be punched in the face, just saying) was the absurd amount of Photoshop. Some may not recognize it at first glance, but as a well-practiced photographer and someone who spends their free time looking at before and after photos, it's pretty easy to spot. This shouldn't be a surprise. It is a pretty well-known fact now that just about every magazine cover you see is essentially fake. There is not a single celebrity that shows their face or flashes their abs that has not be retouched, airbrushed, or skinnied-up and filled-out in all the right places. How is that fair? These people are already rich and attractive, but now they get to have professional photographers airbrushing any trace of imperfection and enhancing (and creating) the very features that women wish and dream about for themselves? No. That is so, so wrong.

I know this is long, but I'm about to make my point here.

As I felt my brain leaking out my ears and I desperately tried to suppress the urge to beat my computer screen with a sledge hammer, I couldn't help but feeling just incredibly frustrated, and mostly sad. The tragic truth is this: glitz, glam, beauty, and here it is - sex - sells. Which is why it is such a miracle that a show like Duck Dynasty, that features a very openly religious and loving family, is the highest rated cable television show in history.

And yet, Keeping Up with the Kardashians remains. Even worse, Photoshop remains overused and provides our society with a sickeningly skewed view of what beauty is. People - mostly women - tune in and laugh and drool over the glamorous lifestyle of these random rich people and indulge in the beauty tips that will never achieve the unreal perfection portrayed on the front of a magazine. All of this ultimately amounts to one thing: a lot of people feeling really bad about themselves for an image that isn't even real. And that breaks my heart. It scares me to know that my children will grow up in a world where the idea of beauty is not even a real thing to begin with. My point is pretty much summed up in this:

I know there are a lot of people, like Dove, doing a lot of good in the world to try and adjust society's definition of beauty and what's desirable. I just hope it will have enough of an impact to keep the craziness at bay for a little while. I am hopeful that with the knowledge of the restored gospel, I can hold onto what worth really is. That I can teach my children that their worth is not defined by the world's standards of beauty or status, but that they are the children of a King on High who loves them more than the world ever could.